check this out

http://www.graceisforsinners.com/life/canvas/

A new chapter.

I guess all I can do is just jump in and start at the beginning.

Life has never been that easy for me. Not that I expected it to be but sometimes it would be nice not to be knocked down so much. I have learned that life is hard but God is bigger. I know that because God has met me in some really tough times.

Someone I love very much once told me that most of my story was written by others. That there were only a few words about a little girl who just wanted someone to love her. I would have to agree most of my story, was about keeping peace and hiding.

God has healed much of my wounds. I know that I am a work in progress. But I am healed in places where I once was broken.

Something happens though when all of your story is about other people. You lose who you are. That's what happened to me so God and I and a friend have had tear down all of me. So that I could be built on an strong and even foundation. 

It wasn't easy and it was painful. 

But it had to be done. So now as we build together as learn who I am more and more.

I start a new chapter.

I know a couple things for sure 1. Jesus is my saviour. 2. I want my story to be about me. 3. I want my life to be about serving God. 4. God and I have much further to go. 

I know all these things for sure but I don't know: what I will fill my time with, what I am good at, How I earn to live, what my dream is and many more uncertainties.

There is something unsettling about a new chapter having all that blank paper in front of you and knowing that you are the one to write it. I am sure there are many who could write it for me but I don't want to go back to being a space filler in my own life.

This my story and no matter how scary it is to have all these blank pages in front of me. God will help me when everything seems to big when decisions seem too hard and when uncertainty is my constant shadow.

This is my story and I will write it.

They make history come ALIVE

Sometimes I wonder what provokes us as a generation to think that the older generation has no experience ,no smarts, no ideas that they lose all knowlege ,all reason when they turn 65. They are no longer any good at anything. It makes me so sad and a little bit angry too at times because these people have so much to give and share. 
They can tell us stories about the past and help us to learn from thier mistakes. They can teach us how to do new things. They can share thier ideas and interests. They can make history come alive. This week on one day I was volunteering around an elderly population anyway this lady was talking about how her family was no longer talking to her because she didn't give a family member money. I remember thinking that is so wrong not to ask someone for money but to just disregard the person who is your family. Please don't misunderstand I do not think we should just allow people to run over us by no means but we should have respect enough for elders that even if we disagree we will treat them with respect. 


"Listen to your father, who gave you life, and do not despise your mother when she is old." Proverbs 23:22


I am very thankful to have grandparents even though we disagree sometimes. They have made history come alive for me .To this day i love history ,records (yes records) , antiques, old black and white movies and old photographs. More than that they have shared their stories with me and sometimes they will say something or I will see a photo of them when they were younger and it will remind me they were young once too. 


That this life is but a moment... it fades.


My grandmother has said more times than I can remember that when she was young she thought she would never get old that she could never understand why the older people around her did what they did. Now she does.


Day by day we are all geting older and Lord willing I someday will be an old woman when I get there I will understand. But for right now all I need to know is one blanket or two? :-)


"Gray hair is a crown of splendor; it is attained by a righteous life." Proverbs 16:31


So please remember that being young doesn't mean you are right and it doesn't mean that the elderly person is wrong. 
"Wisdom is with the aged, and understanding in length of days" Job 12:12


Please treat your elders well.


"'Rise in the presence of the aged, show respect for the elderly and revere your God. I am the LORD." Leviticus 19:32


Natasha

http://arabah.wordpress.com/2011/03/23/abba/

I read the above blog and it spoke to me of myself. Of a child within who hurts and is going to bring her hurts to her Father God and turns back because fear overwhelms her. God wants me to come to him and yet there is this fear and a pride. Fear that he will turn away, fear that he is like men I knew. Pride that says you don't need him you can fix your heart yourself you don't need to bother God.
Both of those are wrong and both keep me from what I really need My Father.

So when life is hard and your heart is breaking. You can trust him he is faithful. He can handle your pain. He is big enough. So don't turn back.

Blessings

Natasha

Merry Christmas to you all.
I have been busy preparing for Christmas but as we do the things that are involved in Christmas let us never forget Jesus is the reason for this celebration.

I won`t be on the computer on Christmas so I just wanted to wish you all a very restful and reflective Christmas. I hope that as each of us prepare for the season with  the good and the bad that our focus would be on Jesus. Let us hope in him.

Blessings
Natasha