Life has never been that easy for me. Not that I expected it to be but sometimes it would be nice not to be knocked down so much. I have learned that life is hard but God is bigger. I know that because God has met me in some really tough times.
Someone I love very much once told me that most of my story was written by others. That there were only a few words about a little girl who just wanted someone to love her. I would have to agree most of my story, was about keeping peace and hiding.
God has healed much of my wounds. I know that I am a work in progress. But I am healed in places where I once was broken.
Something happens though when all of your story is about other people. You lose who you are. That's what happened to me so God and I and a friend have had tear down all of me. So that I could be built on an strong and even foundation.
It wasn't easy and it was painful.
But it had to be done. So now as we build together as learn who I am more and more.
I start a new chapter.
I know a couple things for sure 1. Jesus is my saviour. 2. I want my story to be about me. 3. I want my life to be about serving God. 4. God and I have much further to go.
I know all these things for sure but I don't know: what I will fill my time with, what I am good at, How I earn to live, what my dream is and many more uncertainties.
There is something unsettling about a new chapter having all that blank paper in front of you and knowing that you are the one to write it. I am sure there are many who could write it for me but I don't want to go back to being a space filler in my own life.
This my story and no matter how scary it is to have all these blank pages in front of me. God will help me when everything seems to big when decisions seem too hard and when uncertainty is my constant shadow.
This is my story and I will write it.
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